Posted by Shane Scanlon
We’re back with a highly satirical blog post, so please take this with a pinch of salt…
If you felt bad dumping someone just before Valentine’s Day, well we’ve got some good news. February is coming to a close, so you can now begin to think about ways to break it off with unloved ones. We’ve done a survey around the office of great places to take people before you dump them.
Whilst this may seem cruel, it’s a nice way to treat someone before you part ways, and both move on with your lives. We’ve talked strategies and optimum locations, in order to create our 3 top choices, for places to dump people. If you’re feeling uninspired and want to break it off, read on. And if you can’t take a good joke, please click the back button…
Here’s our list…
Whilst a good exhibition is a great day out, the benefit of breaking it off in a museum is unmeasured, and we’ll explain why. Firstly, you know that awkward silence you’re trying to fill when thinking about ending it with someone, well in a museum there’s lots to see and talk about. ‘So where is this relationship going?’ can be answered with ‘Ooo look a big whale skeleton’, and so on. It’s a perfect amount of time until the end, where you can finally break the bad news. The second advantage is that museums are usually a fairly crowded place. Usually, us Brits aren’t one to make a scene in public, so your other half won’t be able to scream at you, until you’re on the phone to them later…
A fun day out + no public drama = a semi-happy breakup.
Our top choice - Natural History Museum
There are some lovely country parks all across the UK, with some of the best views and wide-open spaces – perfect for making your escape. See, not everyone reacts well to ending a relationship. So, when it gets ugly, get out. You can sprint to your hearts content across the beautiful landscape, hopefully making it back to the car before they do… Just don’t run on the grass or flowerbeds. The key is to be respecting of the dumpee, the grounds and the environment.
Beautiful scenery + Room to escape = a semi-happy breakup (maybe, we promise nothing).
Our top choice - Hyde Park
Paintballing is the past time of stag parties and company team builds, mainly because it’s a great way to vent any frustration in a ‘non-violent way’. However, we’d recommend layering up for this one, because it could get ugly. Yes, paint balls hurt, so if you’re anticipating a bad break, beware. However, it can be very therapeutic and beneficial for you both, airing your frustrations via shooting paint. In all honesty, it’s a great day out – even if you end it on a sour note.
Painful Paint – Relationship Frustration = a semi-happy breakup (we’re only assuming at this point, we don’t know what’s going on…).
Our top choice - Mayhem Paintball
And that’s our list, if you liked it, feel free to share it with your friends / those on the verge of a breakup. And once again if you’ve got this far and don’t like a good joke – hit the back button. We’ll be back next week with some more great days out in the UK.